


all that was lost

by SirenDreams



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Fanzine Entry, Far Cry 5/New Dawn Fanzine, Far Cry Fanzine 2020, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, Introspective Joseph Seed, Tales From The Bunker Fanzine, set during the ending of Far Cry 5, tw: grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirenDreams/pseuds/SirenDreams
Summary: In the safety of the bunker, Joseph takes the time before the Deputy wakes to reflect on all that he’s lost [My entry forTales From The Bunker- a Far Cry Fanzine hosted by @unclefungusthegoat on tumblr.]
Relationships: Deputy | Judge & Joseph Seed, Joseph Seed & Faith Seed, Joseph Seed & Jacob Seed, Joseph Seed & John Seed
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9
Collections: Far Cry Fanzine 2020





	all that was lost

Joseph stares bitterly at the prone figure handcuffed to the metal bed frame. In the end, he had been right as he always knew he would be. His faith was absolute and never wavered. Not even when the Deputy was placed as an obstacle in his path. They had brought a storm upon Hope County, a storm he had steadfastly weathered... and yet... it was not without consequence. He spares one last glance at the Deputy’s unconscious form and turns his back, leaving the room to reflect. His steps carry him through the bunker into a room containing a fish tank, a couch, and a myriad of shelving. He takes a seat on the worn couch and stares into the distance, unseeing as he thinks back on all his vision had cost him.

Faith had been the first loss, a crushing blow to the Project’s effort to bring the unrepentant of Hope County to heel. Faith. He should’ve taken her assurance that she had deputy well in hand with a grain of salt. She’d always been eager to please and even more eager to ensure that her place in the family remained untouched and solid as stone. Joseph feels a wave of remorse and then anger directed both at Faith... and himself. She could’ve reined in the deputy sooner or used Burke to end the trouble with the Deputy before things escalated. And yet… the blame does not lie only with her. Joseph knows he should’ve given her more attention and, when the deputy once again proved to be a thorn in their side, he should’ve stepped in and handled things himself. He shouldn’t have trusted Faith at her word. Not completely, at least. He knew she was a master with her words and perfectly skilled at setting anyone’s mind at ease with just a simple phrase and a tilt of her head. He had witnessed it time and time again. Oh Faith… she had been skilled true, but in the end she had been no match for the deputy… and so the hell the white horse had wrought upon them had continued on their path.

Jacob had been the next to fall⏤ a startling loss and one Joseph had never anticipated. He’d never quite been able to sway Jacob to his reasoning, to get him to truly believe in the cause. To believe that he was worth more than just being a killing machine. He knew their childhood, as awful and short as it had been, had all shaped them into what they were today. And Jacob, oh his elder had been doubly shaped. First, by their poor excuse for parents and then again by the army. Broken down and remolded into something they viewed as worthy. They had changed him, made him cold and ruthless. Made his sole viewpoint nothing but survival of the fittest. Joseph blames himself in part, for using that viewpoint to help maintain the faithful. Were he a better brother, he would’ve tried harder to sway him to the belief that he too had been chosen for something greater. In the end, Joseph had failed in that regard. He had never once reminded his older brother that he was not as invincible as he thought himself to be. Had failed to remind him that even with all his training, the deputy was a force to be reckoned with… and his failures had cost him⏤ cost the project⏤ yet another life.

The first two losses had been hard, but oh that final loss. The loss of John… his baby brother… that had been the hardest yet. Joseph shakes his head, feels the wave of rage, of pure wrath break over him. None of his beloved family should’ve died, least of all John. Oh John, the baby of their family. He who had only aimed to please Joseph. To make his big brother proud. He had been so brave, but so reckless. So, so reckless when compared to the other heralds. Not like Faith who had the bliss as her armor, a way to control and sway the minds of those who would stand against them as well as those who would try to harm her. Yet, her method hadn’t been foolproof as her death had proven even with the advantage she had… Then again, Jacob’s method had proven much of the same despite his successes and best efforts. But they had taken precautions! Ways to at least put in an effort to keep harm at bay! When compared to the two of them, well, John had put himself at the most risk. Facing the deputy head on from the start. Having that scion of hell-fire brought before him with naught but rope and threats to keep himself safe. He was bold, always had been… but it had proved to be his downfall many times before and, unfortunately, had proven true once again.

He had wept, shed many tears in heartbreak as his family grew smaller and smaller while the deputy tore apart all they had strived for. As they had decimated everything the Project had built and ripped away everything Joseph held dear. In the soft glow of the illuminated tank, he weeps once more for all that he had lost and for all that was yet to come. He lets himself feel this sadness, this vulnerability in the moment of peace, until he can feel no more. And, when his tears are spent, and his thoughts drift to the board he had passed on his way— plastered with their pictures and the ravings of old man Dutch... all that is left is a boiling pit of rage. He steels himself as he stands, casts his gaze skyward, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. A moment passes and then he hears the clink of metal on metal as his companion stirs, breaking the his final moment of peace. He bows his head as if acknowledging an unseen presence and then makes his way deeper into the bunker. Joseph may not have saved as many souls as he wished… but he knows his work is not yet done and that a new task has been laid out before him. He hums as he walks, quietly at first, then singing audibly as he gets closer and closer to the deputy’s quarters. The same tune he had sung when the reaping began.

“ _Amazing grace, how sweet the sound…_ ”


End file.
